Now that we've gotten that mushy hack of a holiday created by the greeting card companies out of the way, Cat Coven's "Illuminaughty" tee is for all you freaks out there. No "Fifty Shades of Grey" underlying psychological crap here, we're just talking about being kinky, even if it's on an amatuer level. To be considered for initiation, you must have watched "Secretary," and be able to sing-a-long to two-thirds of the songs on this list of the "20 Sexiest R&B Songs from 1990 to present." Until then, visit Cat Coven's Etsy store and purchase something for those times when you're actually wearing clothes.